Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Mingail, Harry

The Extraordinary Power of Project Relationships: Relationships Enable Your Happiness and Success / Harry Mingail.

First Edition.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

ISBN 978-0-9881115-0-9

1. Project Management.

2. Relationships.

3. Interpersonal Skills

4. Human Resources.

5. Title: The Power of Project Relationships

Copyright © 2012 by Harry Mingail

Date of Publication: June 15, 2012

All rights reserved. No part of the publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published by

East Hill Productions

1842 Queen Street East #203

Toronto, ON M4L 1H1

www.ehproductions.com

To Sandi, Laura and Joe … my inspirations.

And special thanks to David Bajurny.

WHAT'S YOUR PROJECT'S RELATIONSHIP IQ?

Mark the option that best describes your performance. If your option is NEVER, check Option 1, if it occurs very frequently then select 5. If your answer is sometimes, check Option 3, and so on. Also, try to avoid taking the easy middle option 3.

Think about business projects such as creating a new corporate procedures manual, technology system or departmental merger. Or in your personal lives consider projects such as pursuing an academic designation, renovating a kitchen or coaching a sports team for a season.

Answer questions as a relationship diagnostic for all the people, known as stakeholders, in your relationships. Anyone who influences or is influenced by what your project does is a called a stakeholder.

Consider those who influence you such as bosses, sponsors and significant others. Think about people who are being influenced by the results of what you do in your private as well as business lives.

Don't forget to include yourself as a stakeholder. You have an interest. Hence, you are a stakeholder.

Powerful Project Individual Relationships

1.   Everyone in your life is a customer. After all, they are spending on you. They consume valuable moments of their life with you. If you don't treat them well, you lose. So, do your customers agree that the project has identified, defined and exercises superior customer relationship practices?

2.   A boss is a person in your business or personal life who makes decisions and exercises authority. Even in your personal life, your significant other may be the "boss" in a kitchen renovation project because it is more important to him or her. Does your boss, and of course this can be you, agree that project stakeholders understand and support them by leveraging their strengths, compensating for their weaknesses and performing to expectations?

3.   Project staff, such as people helping you to move from one house to another or employees putting together a new standard operating procedure (SOP), carries out the work. Do project staff agree that the project understands and supports their needs and expectations, balancing their best interests with those of the project?

4.   Does your project recruit good or bad staff? Do project stakeholders agree that project results are as good as they can get thanks to recruiting the right attitude, skills and experience, people on your team?

5.   Do you have authority which matches and enables the responsibilities which rest on your shoulders? Do project stakeholders agree that their project manager's authority is understood, respected and achieves success in good times as well as bad?

6.   You can't do everything yourself. There are not enough hours in the day for you to do it all. You need experts. You must delegate! How good is delegation understood and deployed? Do project stakeholders agree that the project exercises delegation practices which enable a clear understanding of what needs be done, responsibilities, authority levels and time, money and scope constraints?

7.   Motivation is an art and science. Everyone is has unique combinations of things which work to light a fire (metaphorically) under them. Do your stakeholders agree that they are strongly motivated because the motivators are tailored to each individual's needs, circumstances and performance expectations?

8.   Risk goes with the territory. You need to properly anticipate and plan for the uncertainties and vagaries of the future. Do project stakeholders all understand the nature of risk and have they collaboratively developed and approved an excellent risk plan?

9.   Criticism and feedback is a natural part of the human condition and relationship. Negative as well as positive feedback can diminish and destroy relationships. Do stakeholders agree that the project successfully practices the giving and receiving of criticism?

10.   If people do not get fair, accurate and effective performance appraisals, formally as well as informally, they won't know whether they are meeting expectations. Do stakeholders agree that the project successfully practices appraisals which enable maximum performance and continuous improvement?

11.   When people are troublesome or not meeting project expectations, they need to be moved. Do stakeholders agree that, when needed, poorly performing people have been moved off the project for objective, fair and just reasons for the best interests of the project?

12.   People constantly bombard you and your stakeholder with deliberate and sometimes accidental manipulations. Do stakeholders agree that decisionmaking and unfair persuasion is understood by all, identified when it does happen and eliminated in order that optimal project decisions are made?

Powerful Project Group Relationships

1.   How's it going with office and family politics? DO stakeholders agree that the reality of politics in any relationship is understood by all and that negative politics is identified when it does happen and eliminated in order that optimal project performance occurs?

2.   Relationships go through various good and bad dynamics for which there are proven techniques. Do project stakeholders agree that the best group dynamics practices associated with forming, storming, norming and performing are understood and applied in the optimal manner with particular attention to eliminating the negative implications of groupthink?

3.   Since we can't do everything at once we need to identify and manage priorities. Do project stakeholders agree that priorities are objectively and effectively identified, communicated and understood?

4.   We all want to achieve quality but not everyone understands the nature of quality and how to achieve it. Do stakeholders agree that high quality results are defined, understood, monitored and achieved?

5.   Marketing is much more than advertising and promoting. It's about understanding what customers want and how to keep them happy and loyal in comparison to the competition. DO stakeholders agree that the project is understood, communicated and valued to the point that the project gets the level of support and resources, balanced against priorities, yet enough to enable the project's success?

6.   Do new and existing stakeholders understand what the project is supposed to do, initially as well as when scope changes occur? Do project stakeholders agree that the project's terms-of-reference and charter completely and accurately defines the project terms of reference is understood by all and is up-to-date?

7.   All projects, whether it's a marriage or a new procedure, generate the potential for resistance because they always produce change. Do project stakeholders agree that change management practices are effectively applied in order to minimize resistance while maximizing the acceptance of project results?

8.   Being ethical is not only being a good person but can also enable project success. Do stakeholders agree that the project's ethical standards have been defined, communicated and applied?

9.   Conflict, as simple as a difference of opinion, is inevitable. The better you handle these "bad times" in relationships, the more likely your relationships will continue and even improve. Also, some conflict is actually a good thing. Are all project stakeholders properly schooled at handling conflict and agree that conflict is handled in the best possible way?

10.   There's an art and science to leading people you directly manage as well as those who you don't directly lead, such as kitchen cabinet suppliers who work for a general contractor. Do project stakeholders agree that the project manager maximizes productive relationships with those people who are directly supervised as well as those indirectly managed?

11.   Good and bad project cultures, just like their ethnic culture counterparts, can enable or disable your project. Do project stakeholders agree that the project's culture is accepted, defined, communicated, understood, monitored and practiced by all?

12.   Because projects, by definition, always produce unique results, creativity and innovation are mandatory. Problem-solving and not constantly screaming, like the Chicken Little story, that "the sky is falling" needs to be the norm. Do project stakeholders agree that the group creativity practices are applied and successfully practiced towards continuous project improvement? Every day in every way you and team need to seek to get better.

Project relationships can always get better. Master these key 24 practices. You and project stakeholder will significantly improve your potential for success … in business as well as personal endeavors.

Introduction

Bad business one-on-one or group relationships create stress, destruction and unproductively. Likewise, without great relationships, our personal lives can be empty, boring and lonely.

Ideas, Techniques & Checklists for Everyone

This book is packed with great ideas, techniques and many checklists to make great things happen for you. At minimum you will find something and typically many things which will reward your investment in this book, with better relationships. Great relationships will generate monetary as well as a flood of other positive differences in your life.

Your life is worth it!

Think about all the many types of projects in your business and personal life. A project is a temporary endeavour which produces unique results. Weddings, business mergers and implementation of new corporate technologies are all projects.

Each of these examples is temporary. You may be enjoying your wedding reception. But it ends sometime … so that you can begin the enchanting honeymoon. That stressful project to merge two departments seems excruciatingly long, but it also does end some time.

Each of these examples of projects is unique. Even if you have been married eleven times before, each project to prepare for the wedding will be different. In business, some other company may have implemented the same accounting software package. However, your company has unique accounting numbers, practices and stakeholders.

Unique, temporary, limited resources … the list goes on and on. They all conspire to make your life challenging, stressful maybe even traumatic, particularly your relationships with others.

Master the skills, practical how-to techniques and tips in "The Extraordinary Power of Project Relationships". Your business life will be much more successful and … so will your personal life. Invest in reading, learning and appropriately applying these techniques.

Use the book as a handy reference as you perform project work in the office as well as your personal life.

For more than 30 years I have provided consulting, training and education to business and non-business venues as well as universities in North America, Europe and Asia. Now I want to give back.

The phrase I have coined as the motto I live by is "To give back and be given is to feel the warmth of the sun from both sides".

Reward yourself. Your relationships will get better. You deserve to make your life as good as it can be!

Harry Mingail

About Harry Mingail

Harry Mingail's (www.harrymingail.com) books, audios, videos, and webinars draw from his more than 30 years of consulting, workshops and keynotes to business and non-business venues as well as universities in North America, Europe and Asia. His motto and words "To give back and be given is to feel both sides of the sun" expresses itself in all that he says, does and writes about towards delivering practical tips, techniques and insights in a lighthearted, engaging and playful manner.

Special Value for Project Managers and Business Analysts

Good news!

If you are or aspire to be a Project Management Professional (PMP) or are or want to be a Certified Business Analyst Professional (CBAP), this book covers all the major interpersonal and leadership elements of the Project Management Body of Knowledge (PMBOK ® Guide) and Business Analysis Body of Knowledge (BABOK ®).

The book addresses everything in PMBOK's Appendix G Interpersonal Skills including:

•   Leadership

•   Teambuilding

•   Motivation

•   Communication

•   Influencing

•   Decision-making

•   Political and cultural awareness

•   Negotiation

Similarly this book addresses BABOK's Chapter 9.0 Underlying Competencies including:

•   Analytical thinking

•   Problem-solving

•   Behavioral characteristics

•   Communication skills

•   Interaction skills

Take the Self-Test

Begin by taking the self-test in the first section of the book. Rate your relationship abilities. Confirm you strengths. Then focus on the areas you can improve, by reading the matching chapters.

The first twelve chapters present key enablers for better relationships with individuals such as your customer (everyone is a customer), boss (even in your personal life someone takes charge depending on the initiative) and significant other.

The second twelve chapters help you to develop better relationships with and in groups. These insights, techniques and tips apply to all manner of groups such as business project teams as well as the team of you and your significant other in your personal life.

Perform, profit and prosper!

Preface

For more than 30 years I've earned my living by leveraging the Extraordinary Power of Project Relationships. I'm what some people call a hired gun.

It's not a real gun. It's just that as a management consultant as well as a workshop trainer in business and non-business venues, I problem-solve, for corporations, governments and individuals in their private lives, who need help to turnaround all manner of issues, problems and projects. The bigger the challenge, the more I am exhilarated.

The "secret to success"? Behind every challenge are people. People, as individuals and in groups, are always the key to victory. Your relationships matter very much.

Relationship issues destroy the most skilled team. Constantly complaining Cathy, Bulldozer Boswald, Lazy Larry and Manipulative Margo can ravage costly and normally productive relationships, projects and teams in our careers as well as private lives. In contrast, Hardworking Harry, Responsible Rachel, Open-minded Oscar and Persevering Peter can conquer the most difficult of assignments as well as family crisis situations.

Take the test in the first section of the book. Rate your relationship capabilities. Your answers to the questions will lead you to the chapters of the book which will help you the most.

The remainder of the book will help you by conveying topics in an uncluttered and direct manner. Concise narrative reveals best practices.

There are twenty-four chapters. Twelve identify and provide key enablers for better relationships with individuals, twelve for fostering the best project relationships with groups.

Bad Relationship Skills

Some people are natural connectors. They know how to "read" a person's mood, listen "between the lines" and sympathize with a point of view. These people are so perfect and so very special. Ugh!

But for most of us, to always relate flawlessly requires us to overcome numerous obstacles. We ought to avoid long practiced bad habits. We need to stop misinterpreting others. We need to recognize and adapt to all manner of cues including tone, body language, the various subtle interpretations of words and other factors which conspire to disconnect people from one another and mangle relationships.

Have you ever misinterpreted an e-mail? Did you ever take an action which was not welcomed by another person because you misunderstood them?

For example, by focusing on certain cues and ignoring others, a person can continually reinforce a misconception about another individual. This creates a recurring cycle of poor relating habits and negative responses from others.

The effects of faulty relationship skills are manifold. Unethical activities, failed plans, broken friendships and demoralized corporations are direct by products.

Confusion reigns. Even highly motivated leaders become enmeshed in a complex spider web of negative relationships.

Good Relationship Skills

Granted, you are often under a lot of pressure to perform. Deadlines must be met, budgets abided by and decisions reached without a great deal of lead time.

Many times, you fail to connect. Interaction skills are vital relationship skills which produce trust between people. When you build trust, you've attained the foundation for a great relationship. And, like the foundation of a great house, you need to maintain the foundation in order to preserve, enhance and grow your relationships.

These interactions can take two forms: symmetrical or complementary.

Complementary relationships occur in cases of wide variances in communication styles or personality. In some teams, members play complementary roles such as creators or investors and integrators and managers. In this type of relationship, the two styles balance each other in order to produce positive results.

On the down side, these relationships may represent ongoing struggles. For example, if you contradict anything someone else says, that tends to be a touch annoying.

In symmetrical relationships, individuals share personal qualities or goals. Generally, symmetrical communications yield sharing of feelings and ideas. They create a friendly, easy-going atmosphere.

Mirroring is one example of symmetrical behavior. You cross your arms when the other person crosses theirs. You lean forward when they do. Assuming that you are not just looking at your reflection in a mirror, the other person feels more connected with you as a result of the symmetry.

Are you good? Are you bad? Can you be better? Find out for yourself. Take the Project Relationship IQ test in the next section.

Contents

INTRODUCTION

Ideas, Techniques & Checklists for Everyone

About Harry Mingail

Special Value for Project Managers and Business Analysts

Take the Self-Test

PREFACE

Bad Relationship Skills

Good Relationship Skills

WHAT'S YOUR PROJECT'S RELATIONSHIP IQ?

SECTION #1 - POWERFUL PROJECT INDIVIDUAL RELATIONSHIPS

1.0 EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE IS A CUSTOMER

Customer Service of the "Good Old Days"

The Blueprint

Make Customers = "Family"

Treat Service like a Product

Inspire Customer Service

A Mathematical Customer Service Formula

How to Manage Customer Relations

Focus Staff on the C.A.R.E. Formula

Take These 7 Vital Actions

2.0 SUPPORT YOUR BOSS'S LEADERSHIP STYLE

My Nuclear Client "Boss"

Assess Leadership Style

Identify and Compensate for These Boss Weaknesses

Spot and Reap these Strengths of Your Boss

10 Easy Steps to Keep the Boss Happy

3.0 LEADERS TREAT STAFF LIKE JEWELS

Discovering Valuable "Staff Jewels"

Attitude

Training

Paying

Appraising

Working Together

4.0 LEADERS RECRUIT THE RIGHT PEOPLE

The Job

Tips for Resume Reading … and Preparing

The Interview

Hiring Checklist to Consider When Hiring a Project Manager

Hiring – Your Staff

The Hire

Support the Staff You Hire

5.0 ESTABLISH YOUR LEADERHSHIP AND AUTHORITY

Check Your Authority Using These 12 Factors

The Predecessor

The Honeymoon

Subordinate Types

Subordinate Conversations

Third Parties

Be Careful of Coalitions

7 Steps of Crisis Management

The Boss

Empower Employees

6.0 GREAT LEADERS DELEGATE TO EMPOWER

7 Rewards of Good Delegation

Exposing 10 Delegation Myths

4 Key Delegation Steps

My Experience – VP of Systems

7.0 MOTIVATION MAGIC

Motivation Models

Disbelieve These Motivational Myths

10 Motivational Possibilities

The Power of Job Goals

Job Standards Set Expectations

Job Communication Communication Communication

6 Tips for Motivating by Enriching Jobs

8.0 MANAGE AND SANCTION REALISTIC RISK-TAKING

Key Risk Terminology

Risk and You

3 Risk-Taking Tips

Roadblocks to Risk-Taking

6 Risk Management Principles

Understanding Rare Events

5 Factors to Consider

Attacking Risk

Risk Estimation Guidelines

Create at Least the Following "Minimalist" Risk Register

My Experience with a Corporate Treasury Project

9.0 SUCCESSFULLY COMMUNICATE CRITICISM

Giving & Receiving Criticism

9 Key Steps

Differences Are Inevitable

Exploratory Talk

10.0 COMMUNICATING DURING STAFF APPRAISALS

Beware the Pitfalls

Let Subordinates Help to Appraise

Analyze Rather Than Evaluate

Primary Appraisal Techniques

A Worthwhile Investment

11. LEADERS SOMETIMES NEED TO FIRE PEOPLE

Firing Processes

The Reality of Firing

12.0 DECISIONMAKING AND PROBLEM-SOLVING

Great Decision-Makers Have Attitude

Critical Thinking - Foundation of Great Decision-Making

Ignoring the Facts - "Invisible Ignorance"

Don't Rock the Boat

Fueling Emotions

Finger Pointing

No Time to Think

Personal Attacks

Slippery Slope

Objections Objections Objections

Misdirection

Mixing In A Little Truth - "A Grain of Truth"

Cause & Effect

The "Straw Man" Approach

A Gambler's Decision-Making Mistake

Unfair Comparisons

Ridicule

Forestalling Agreement

End of Discussion

Creating Doubt

Popularity

Statistics

Jumping To Conclusions

Groupthink Can Create Disastrous Decisions

Paying Lip Service

Wishful Thinking Clouds Clear Thinking

Intimidation

Begging the Question

3 Tips For Defending Yourself Against Bad Decisions

I Refused to be Intimidated by a Management Team

SECTION #2 POWERFUL PROJECT GROUP RELATIONSHIPS

1.0 HANDLING PROJECT POLITICS

People Networks

Negative Relationship Styles

Positive Relationship Styles

Nurture Your Internal Network

Other Political Networks

Political Assessment - List Key People

12 Political Punches – Negative Politics

11 Ways to Leverage Political Power

My Experience with Politics

2.0 GROUP DYNAMICS AND TEAMBUILDING

Your Status in a Group

The Composition of Groups

The Cohesiveness of Groups

Group Norms Bind

Groupthink - Danger, Danger

Anticipate the 4 Predictable Group Phases

Watch for these 4 Major Personality Types

Mitigate Diminishing Performance

Rate Your Leadership Skills

Balance Your Approach

What's important to you?

Learning and Continuous Learning

My Experience Turning Around a Project

3.0 ORGANIZING TIME AND PRIORITIES

Unwise Ways to Choose

10 Priority Factors to Consider

6 Steps to Select Your Priorities

4.0 INSPIRE QUALITY RESULTS

Quality Guru Deming's 14 Points

Juran's 9 Steps to Quality Improvement

Pareto Quality Analysis

Continuous Project Improvement

Business Process Reengineering

Quality Has a Cost

Seeking Perfection

5.0 CONNECTING, COMMUNICATING AND MARKETING

How to Market

Which Strategy Works?

Market Research

"Price" Your Service

Project "Brand Loyalty"

Promoting Projects

6.0 MANAGE & COMMUNICATE EXPECTATIONS - PROJECT CHARTER

What Project "Investors" Seek

10 Key Qualities of Project Charters

Begin with a Summary

Align With Corporate Strategy

Seek Competitive Advantage

Background

Your Market

Goals & Objectives

Scope

Deliverables

Risks & Mitigation

Project Constraints

Assumptions

Project Participants

Your Team

Progress Reporting

Project Files

Project Approach

Critical Success Factors

Change Management

Financial Forecast

Keep Your Plan Alive

7.0 ORGANIZATIONAL CHANGE MANAGEMENT & SYSTEMS THINKING

Change Strategies and Systems Thinking

Enrol Change Agents

How to Deal with Immense Change – ERP Experience

8.0    ETHICS & TRUST PAY BACK

Ethics Based Upon Consequences

Ethical Altruism

Ethical Egoism

Ethical Utilitarianism

Act Utilitarianism

Duty Ethics & Obligations

Practical Wisdom

A Project Code of Ethics

9.0 CONFLICT MANAGEMENT, NEGOTIATION AND "SELLING"

Dealing with Conflict

Pros & Cons of Conflict

Harness Conflict

Are You Addicted to Coercion?

Managing Stress during Conflict

Negotiating - Simplified Steps

Selling Is Part of Your Job

Know Your Sales Self

Sell Assertively

Overcoming Objections

Selling on the Phone

Closing the Sale

10 Selling Tips

10.0 PRODUCTIVITY & TEAMBUILDING - DIRECT AND INDIRECT

What Is Productivity

Direct Supervisory Productivity

Indirect Supervision Factors

Maximising Productivity

The Right Mix

11. PROMOTING YOUR PROJECT'S CULTURE

Copying Japanese Successes

Assessing Project Culture

12 Tips for Changing Your Project Culture

10 Special Do's and Don'ts

Avoid 10 Barriers to Effective Communication

Inspire Worker Satisfaction

Boost Morale

Reward & Punishment

Staff Rating Blunders

Morale Building Words

12.0 PROBLEM-SOLVING, CREATIVITY & LEARNING

Discovering Opportunities

Staying Competitive

Boosting Creative Outlooks

Combining Logic & Creativity

Being Intuitive

Sage Advice

Section #1 - Powerful Project Individual Relationships

1.0 Everyone in Your Life is a Customer

1.   Everyone in your life is a customer. They spend valuable moments of their life on you. Life is precious. Time in life cannot be recovered after spent. Therefore each moment anyone spends with or for us … is priceless.

2.   Put yourself in your customer's shoes, including their thoughts and feelings. Gentlemen if you do not like to wear high heals, this putting yourself in your girlfriend's shoes is just symbolic.

3.   Delight them. Go the extra mile. Do more of what customers want, need and desire.

4.   Respond to them in a timely fashion. "The problem is solved" is a phrase customers crave as soon as humanly possible.

5.   If you are doing something for them which you can't deliver immediately, regularly keep them informed of your progress. Customer annoyance intensifies if they don't hear from you, even if you are working hard on their behalf.

6.   Admit and then fix your mistakes. Cover-ups are good if it is raining. Covering-up your mistakes … not so much!

7.   Listen and respect what they are telling you … even the bad news. Their reality is, by definition, real to them. Even if you see a different (hopefully not due to some kind of recreational drug) one.

8.   Be patient. If someone is venting, politely respect their right to do so.

9.   Keep your promises and commitments. If you don't, it's going to take much more time to recover the trust in your relationship.

10. Smile … inside and out! It will show in the tone of your voice and body language that you are genuine, caring and sincere. It also demonstrates that you value their right to express themselves and their needs.

Customer Service of the "Good Old Days"

Remember the "the good old days". You knew your bank manager by name and he or she knew yours. Fresh milk was delivered to your doorstep. An army of gas station attendants pampered your car. The customer was king then … as they should be now.

Today we deal with rude waiters, indifferent clerks and incompetent mechanics. Project staff acts aggressively rather than politely and assertively. We bag our own groceries, pump our own gas and withdraw our own money from a machine.

Customers and customer service are forgotten. Frontline workers feel underpaid, under-trained and under-motivated.

Yet ironically, our impersonal, technological and highly competitive world demands more special attention and quality service than before. They expect delivery of benefits promised.